Sweet Baby...

By now we would have known whether or not we were expecting another baby girl or taking on a new adventure with a baby boy.

More than likely, I would be trying to finalize the perfect nursery for you to come home to, while Daddy tried to convince me it was already perfect.

Your big sister would probably be rubbing my big belly and asking me 100 times a day when you were coming out.

Your daddy would be singing and talking to you so that you would recognize his voice after you were born.

But we aren't doing any of that.

Instead, we can only imagine whether or not you were our son or our daughter. We lost you before it was possible to tell.

Instead, a playroom full of toys fills the space that would have been your nursery - a welcomed distraction instead of an empty crib.

Instead, your sister is now asking when God is going to give her a little brother or sister while I gulp and try to explain providence and God's sovereignty to a two-and-a-half year old.

Instead, your Daddy is praying over my empty womb, asking God to fill it with precious life again.

No sooner than God gave you to us, He took you away.

But it was not without purpose.

You see sweet baby - your mommy knows Jesus in a deeper, more intimate way than she did before you.

The ache in her heart and emptiness in her gut pushed her closer and closer to her Savior.

Your daddy learned to love me in a more intimate, Christ-like, way as he held me and served me while I mourned your loss.

You were not without purpose.

You were for my good.

In the infinite wisdom of the Lord of all the earth, each event falls with exact precision into its proper place in the unfolding of His divine plan. Nothing, however small, however strange, occurs without His ordering, or without its particular fitness for its place in the working out of His purpose; and the end of all shall be the manifestation of His glory, and the accumulation of His praise.

B.B. Warfield