Today I finished my 14th week of pregnancy. I'm into my second trimester, and just a couple of weeks away from finding out whether this little squirt is a boy or a girl. The baby is about the size of a lemon. He or she is wiggling around in there, but so far - no significant movement has been felt.
Just like with Ada, I want to journal and blog to serve as a journal for this pregnancy. So, I'll go back to the beginning.
If you're reading this post, then you've probably read my post about when we found out. I'm still in awe of God's providence.
This pregnancy - from the beginning has been challenging - physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
Physically - I've been sick. Really sick. I was sick with Ada, but not this sick for this long. I also had low progesterone levels early on, and was required to go on progesterone suppositories from week 8 to week 12. Ladies... those of you who've taken these suppositories know how miserable they can be. Those of you who haven't... be thankful.
I'm sure there are women who weren't as affected by them as I was, but for me... it's one of the most unpleasant experiences with medicine I've ever had. After 12 weeks, I was able to come off of them... only to have to go back on them this week. This past weekend, I had a scare with some spotting, probably due to low progesterone. So, back on the suppositories I go. Blah.
Mentally / Emotionally / Spiritually - I didn't realize that having a miscarriage would completely change me. I used to tell myself that if I ever had one - I'd be okay. They are common. I'd remind myself that having a miscarriage didn't mean that I couldn't carry another baby to term. Now that miscarriage is so REAL to me, this entire pregnancy, I've had to fight to believe that God is good and that whether I carried this baby to term or miscarried again - He was still good.
A friend of mine reminded me that sharing in Christ's suffering as believers doesn't have a "limit". Some of us suffer for a season. Some of us suffer a lifetime. What matters is what God's doing in our lives through the suffering. He's making and shaping us into the likeness of His Son and preparing us not for this world, but for eternity with Him. Therefore, I shouldn't worry or agonize over "what could go wrong"... I should rejoice. I should praise the One who's given this life to us... even if He takes it away.
To lighten up the mood a little bit... haha. Ada is "over the moon" excited about becoming a big sister. She's embraced it completely! I know we'll have our challenges to overcome, but I have no doubt that she'll fall into this new role with ease. She already has shown us that she has a heart to serve and help others, so I'm sure helping out with her little brother/sister will be right up her alley!
I thought it would be fun to ask her a couple of questions each week and post them. I'll warn you though - this child has a mind of her own, so there's no telling from week to week how she'll respond!
Ask "Big Sister" Ada:
1. Do you a baby brother or a baby sister? A baby brother.
2. Why do you want a baby brother? "Because I love baby brothers. And I'd like a baby sister, by the way."
3. What would you name your baby brother? "Umm... Meetoo." Your baby sister? "Mooscopes."
Don't ask. I warned you. Haha.
